my first entry...

Well, i really don't know what to say in this entry but i will try my best to let you guys relate more so that you won't have to waste your time reading my blog/blogs...


It is already 3:30 in the morning and my head is throbbing. I just got home from "Torres" (a place that's very crowded, like a park, only difference is that almost all of the people there are drunk, i think you get the picture) and i was thinking about why i was in that place in the first place? And why was there a need to get drunk? (but i do this most of the time though, "drinking") Only one thing came into my mind, and it was simple. I was lonely.

I was lonely because it has been 20 days since i haven't seen my girlfriend ("deng", who happens to be my best friend, sister, classmate, foe, lover) and i am missing her so damn much!
Ever since i was a kid, i had problems with people leaving me, people who i care about, people who are so dear to me. And this time, its been the longest time that we have been apart from each other, which for me seemed like it's been a year or two (it's just 20 days, i am exaggerating), a very long time for a very young relationship, if i may add.
We celebrated our 13th month apart, and let me tell you, it was more agonizing than i thought it would be. She was not there on my birthday, but it was alright, i can celebrate it when she returns (it may be late, but at least we get to celebrate it together). Still it was sad, not the typical happy birthday.

Whats my point in this blog? Well, it's the thought of being apart from someone you treasure the most for a long time and feeling that void around you.
I'm sure you can relate to what im saying, because i know we all have at somepoint love someone so dear and we can't stand to be apart from them.

Now, having said all of that, let me take you back to my premise.
The only time, and the only thing i can do to handle this situation is to be with some friends and get drunk. Get drunk so that i will be numb, numb enough to negate that feeling of being lonely, eliminate that thought of being apart from your other half, and ignoring that void around you, not feeling alone (since alcohol numbs the body, you cannot feel external forces, also making your body heavy and your mind dizzy), not feeling anything, but you know you miss something, or rather, someone.

So by making this blog entry, i am making a testament to what i am feeling. This is a clear manifestation that i am missing her so damn much!

Now before i go to sleep i am hopeful, because today is a day less without her, which ultimately means that, the day that she would be there when i wake up, is just a few more sleeps away... =)
(I think i had too much alcohol...)